Break Me Down
by foolishteme
Summary: [AU/Sasunaru. Trigger warning!] "I'm coming to see you father" was supposed to be Sasuke's last thought when he ended it all. Instead his brother finds him lying in his own blood and is desperate to save the boy's deteriorating mental health. Will the best center in the whole country help him? And who is his mysterious blond roommate with a great smile and a dark past?
1. Prologue: Hope

**A/N: Hey this is my first fanfiction so I hope you all like it. Um, please let me know what you all think because I want to improve and stuff and yeah! -does a happy dance-**

**Warning: This will be all fluffy and angsty and sappy but I will make it have a cool story line okay? And I'll put happy stuff too! Oh and this will eventually be Sasunaru so if you don't like boy on boy action, please leave. :P Oh and this is rated M just in case! Also, I will put a trigger warning for you here. There will be traumatic experiences, self harm, eating disorders, rape (I won't go into detail but it will be mentioned), and some other mental disorders. I will write each to the best of my knowledge so please feel free to tell me if something is wrong.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... It certainly owns me though.**

**Prologue: Hope**

What do you live for when you have nothing left?

**_12 more hours_**

I woke with a start as my alarm clock went off. I sat up stark straight as I did every morning. It was as if my body knew of my lack of sleep and reacted this way to make sure I didn't sleep in. I glanced at the infernal contraption to see that it was 7 A.M. I had only received a meager 3 hours of sleep last night. Don't get too excited, I wasn't partying or anything. A majority of my time was spent laying in my bed, staring at my ceiling wondering if there was any possibility for me to just fall asleep and never wake up. I grunted and jumped out of bed and walked straight to my bathroom. I regarded the mirror for a few minutes, wondering who the person who was staring back at me was. Sure, I saw myself, but I only saw a shell of myself. My dark black hair shagged just over my black eyes that were sunken in and lined with heavy bags due to lack of sleep. My heart shaped face was a sickly pale and skinny, clearly revealing my sunken in cheekbones and stiff jaw. I had inherited my family's normally angular faces, but for the past few years, my face had lost all angles and was reduced to its now skeletal features. There may have been a time when someone considered me attractive, but who could like a fat, depressed idiot? Which reminded me…

I rubbed my abdomen absentmindedly and pulled my shirt up, not pleased with what I saw. I still hadn't lost weight since last week. I could only make the faint outline of my ribs and I could grab the skin left on my bones. There was a time when I had defined muscles, when  
I was toned and healthy, but that was such a distant memory now that it may as well have been a dream. I felt like punching the mirror to shut up the fat on my bones screaming at me, to change the ugly person staring back at me. "Calm down, Sasuke." I said to myself quietly. "You only have twelve hours left. You can make it." I had a hard time actually believing I was going to make it, but I would try. There was a time when I actually did try at anything, but lately, I never saw the point. Today, though, I had a goal. A goal I would succeed in and as my father would say, Uchihas never give up! How ironic. If my father only knew what I was trying to succeed in now… I opened the mirror and smiled at my medicine cabinet. I grabbed my newly purchased bottle of Tylenol extra strength and took six of the pills. I brushed my teeth quickly and tousled my hair. I strolled into my room, pulled on my black skinny jeans and black sweater and placed the bottle of pills in my backpack.

I headed out of my house void of human life form (besides me) and to my '80's black mustang. I could afford a better car but this car was once my father's and I cherished it more than my own life. I turned the car on and zipped out of my driveway. In ten minutes I was at school. I never had a regard for the driving law since I learned to drive a year ago. I figured that maybe I could get into a crash or something, maybe disappear that way. However, my innate Uchiha driving skills prevented this and no matter how wrecklessly I drove, I never managed to get into an accident. I was a senior this year, not that it matters, everybody still treated me like I never existed. I may as well have been a ghost. I wish I was a ghost, I wish I could simply disappear, fade into the nothing I was. I pulled the pills from my bag and dumped a few into my pocket. I smirked maniacally and headed to the school as the first bell rang. I had a plan, and it was going to work.

**_11 more hours_**

I walked through the halls with as much confidence as I could muster, which wasn't much. I was determined to see the face of every single person who caused me misery in this god forsaken hell hole. I didn't dare look down at my favorite converse, no. I kept my face up, looking everyone in the eyes. The students all glared at me, bumping me in the shoulder. They whispered insults as they saw me

"_Freak_"

"_Faggot_"

"_Nerd_"

"_Devil spawn_"

Most days, each insult would pierce me through the heart, the pain shooting down to my stomach and to my head. Not today. No, today I was giddy that they insulted me. I counted each insult. "Twenty insults on my one hundred foot travel to my locker." I smirked as I opened my locker quickly, placing my bottle of Tylenol on the rusted metal shelf. I took the black marker that was magnetically stuck to the locker door and wrote the number twenty on the white board also stuck to my locker. The white board was there for reminders, from a time when I actually cared about school. Each book I had received this year was still on the locker shelf and they looked brand new still, because I had never cracked them open. I slammed my locker shut as a new emotion welled up in my throat. Sadness and regret. I knew my father would not like how I carelessly gave up on school as well as life, but it was too hard. I knew in the end that I would fail. I stared at my locker for a good minute, still not wanting to trudge my way through the rest of the day. However, other people had other plans.

I felt a rather large hand grab me harshly by the shoulder, turn me around and shove me against the locker. I stared into the gold eyes of one Orochimaru Sannin. The large creep had bullied as well as sexually assaulted me ever since I had transferred to Konoha High School. He was tall, but only had an inch or two on me in height. He was huge and muscle-y due to the fact that he was on the wrestling and weight lifting team. His eyes were literally gold and his skin an unnatural hue of gray. His long black hair that reached to his chest was straight but greasy as if he had never washed it in his life. His creepy golden eyes seemed to light up as his cronies surrounded him and me. He looked to his left and his right as the large teenagers slapped him five or simply patted his shoulder. I just stood there, unfeeling and unafraid of him at this point of my life. I knew there was no way for me to escape, and even if I did so successfully, Orochimaru would find me and beat me twice as hard later in the day.

After he had greeted his friends, he turned those snake-like eyes on to me and put a hand next to my head, leaning himself on the lockers. "Look at what I found here boys," he said, acidic glee dripping like venom from his voice and I was the next prey for said venom, "An emo kitty, here to take for my liking." He leaned into my ear, taking my earlobe into that sick mouth. I could feel his disgusting breath against my ear and neck and he proceeded to lick down my neck with his unnaturally long tongue. The kid was a snake, unnatural and cold-blooded. He knew I couldn't fight back, that I would be a bit of a willing victim. I couldn't tarnish my family's already botched reputation anymore. No matter how much the tongue made me shudder and pulse anger through my veins, I had to take it. "Looks as if he likes it, Oro!" his best friend, Kabuto laughed as the others joined in and whooped in delight. There was nothing more gratifying than someone who couldn't fight back.

"How about it tiger?" the snake-like teenage whispered into my ear. He brought his face close to mine, making my eyes widen and my throat constrict in complete disgust. His awful smelling breath mingled with mine as he leaned those lips closer to mine. "You like it, don't you? The way I tease you," he giggled evilly. All I could do was stand there with all eyes on me. I sucked in a huge breath and backed closer to the lockers, wishing I could simply just sink into them and disappear from him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Orochimaru backed away from me and stared at me, drinking in my anxious and rigid state. He simply laughed along with his friends as they all found themselves with my reaction. I was very prepared for what happened next. Orochimaru buried a hard fist into my stomach causing me to double over in pain. Then, he brought the same fist into my face, making the sickening sound of skin coming into skin. I was already weak from not eating for three days and from the small amount of Tylenol I had taken and my knees gave out causing me to fall to the ground. By some miracle, the bell rang, signaling all the students that they had three minutes to get to their classes. Thankfully, Orochimaru felt that attending class was more important than beating me to a bloody pulp today, so he delivered a last kick to my face before heading to first period.

I was in no rush because my first period class was a mere ten feet from where I was now laying in a helpless heap. That and if I was a few seconds late, my teacher would not care. He was the only teacher in this school who liked me and essentially he had a soft spot for the broken, bullied kid that I was. Many students passed me in a rush, not even glancing at me as I lay on the ground feeling dirty and forgotten. Then one thought flew through my head that gave me the strength to get up instead of just lying there, hoping to mold myself into the floor. 'Only eleven more hours.'

Suddenly, it was if my body and legs pulled me up on their own and carried me to class. I ruffled my hair a bit, causing the longish bangs to assume their usual place across my forehead and covering my left eye. I entered the classroom just as the tardy bell rang. I heard a stunned gasp from the teacher as his eyes laid upon me. I guess Orochimaru hit me harder than I thought. I did a quick sweeping glance at my psychology class and none of them seemed to notice me, thankfully. Most of them thought I deserved it anyway. "Sasuke?" my teacher whispered worriedly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked up into the concerned chocolate brown eyes of Iruka Umino. The man was a relatively new teacher at the school, having retired from being a mental hospital therapist. Why he chose to teach high school was beyond me. Iruka was a natural mother hen, always fretting over the well-being of any of his students and paying special attention to me. Although I had really given up on passing my senior year, Iruka's class was one that I actually paid attention to. He was indeed soft spoken but he was a great teacher and put a great amount of effort into teaching and into his students. He turned to the other students who were whispering idly, discussing their weekend plans and who was dating who. Iruka cleared his throat, commanding his class's attention. "You may talk amongst yourselves quietly," he said softly, "I will be out in the hallway taking care of something." He walked past me opening the door, beckoning me to come to the hallway with him. I didn't want to talk to him, really. I knew he cared but I didn't want to worry about me. However, when someone yelled, "Yeah, take care of that Uchiha. No one wants him here anyway!" I stalked out with my teacher.

I stood in front of my teacher, concern clearly etched into his slightly wrinkled face. Just as I was about to open my mouth, he spoke. "It's getting worse," he whispered as he looked down. I simply looked at him, biting my lip nervously. Iruka wasn't stupid. He knew a bullied kid when he saw one, but he could never do anything about it. "If I could do something, Sasuke, I would. Many of the students and teachers don't want you here as it is and if I could do anything to make it better I would," he said as his lip began to quiver and his eyes watered. Why he even cared so much was beyond me. "I do wish I could stop it, and I have said something but people wave me off as if I'm making it up." I clenched my fists and immediately put my head down. I usually didn't care for people, but this man, I knew he was good. I felt he truly cared what happened to me and it broke my heart that people could dismiss him, or even put him down for sticking up for me. I sincerely hoped that my absence would not affect him.

Iruka picked up his head and I felt his eyes regarding my haggard state. My jeans had been ripped in many places and I chose to wear my favorite oversized black sweater. I knew my hair was a mess by now and I was undoubtedly bruised badly from this morning's run in with Orochimaru. "Are you okay? You look as though you haven't slept or eaten for days," he stated softly. "Hn." I grunted. He saw right through me. He knew that these last few years had taken their terrible toll on me; it was evident on my face and my body. I raised my head slowly and put a weak hand on my teacher's shoulder and offered a small smile, though it was a fragile one that held wryness. "I'm okay, Mr. Umino. Don't worry about me so much anymore." I whispered so softly. "I will worry. It's my job to and I know it' hard but stay strong. I know you'll make it through this. Just a few more months!" It was as if he was begging me to save my own life, pleading me to suffer even a month longer. I straightened myself and squared my shoulders, looking down on my shorter teacher. I turned to the door and held my hand on it. "I said don't worry about me." I threw casually over my shoulder as I opened and walked through the door.

"There's no more hope for me."

8 more hours

When the bell signaling lunch finally rang, I bolted out of class like a bat out of hell. I rushed down the stairs and into the hall where my locker was. I quickly spun out the numbers for the combination and ripped it open. I looked at the number twenty still on my white board and replaced it with a thirty five. It was if the gods were on my side today. People were extra rude and nasty, rewarding me with another fifteen pills between first and third period. I grabbed my meager lunch of an apple and a bottle of water from the locker as well as the thirty five pills from the Tylenol bottle. With my lunch in hand, I shut the locker and headed the opposite way of the cafeteria and over to the west wing that had been basically shut off from use except for the pot heads and well, me.

I casually strolled down the empty hallways that were lined with the ugly green lockers against the violet walls. I looked down at my feet as I walked, noting the filthy tiles that were littered with scuff marks and various other stains caused by the hundreds of sloppy students that walked these floors each and every day.

Konoha High was not a large school by any means but it wasn't small either. Many of its students had attended elementary and middle school together as well as their parents had gone there too. When my dad died three years ago, I was the only one who refused to leave the house he was murdered in. My mom wanted to escape the ghosts of her guilt and mistakes and my brother, Itachi, wanted me to start in a new town that wouldn't know what really happened at that house. However, when my mother decided to drown her sorrows in alcohol, she packed up the house and moved us to this quaint little town. Itachi had gone to the city to take over the family business and I was stuck with an increasingly dangerous and abusive mother.

When I moved here in the middle of my junior year, it seemed that everyone knew who I was. In my old town of Suna, people knew what had happened and but no one dared touch an Uchiha like I had been here. When Itachi left is when my mother had started to hit me. Every night she got drunk and she would slap me, punch me, and kick me until I was covered in bruises and scratches. She would call me her good for nothing son and would constantly berate me for not being as good as Itachi. I tried confiding in my brother but he was always too busy and he would always give me the same you-only-have-a-little-while-until-you're-eighteen -and-you-can-move-out speech. It was as if even my brother betrayed me. I had no one and I slipped farther into the deep dark abyss of despair.

I sighed at the memories as I reached the west wing. I climbed up its stairs and entered the second door on my left that I claimed as my own space. I opened the door and entered the room quickly so that I could sink to the dirty floor. I gingerly put my water bottle and bottle of pills on the floor and took a bite out of my apple. Fruit was the only thing I had been eating at that time and I would eat them sparingly, having an apple every three days or maybe even some grapes if I could stand it. I used to love food and when my dad was alive, she would cook us lavish meals things from Mexican to traditional Japanese dinners. There was no mistaking that my mother was a genius in the kitchen and she would even try to teach me how to cook. I wasn't too great in the kitchen and I often burnt things or over flavored them. My mom would just pat my head and reassure me that I would find something to be good at for I was an Uchiha.

Now, all I was to her was a failure.

I had gone into a trance and out of anger, I threw the apple across the room against that was opposite of me. I started to hyperventilate and I put my head between my legs as my breath became more and more shallow. I felt my chest heave against my legs as I tried to breathe. I didn't know at the time that I was having a panic attack. All I knew was that this happened when memories of my life pre my dad's death came flooding back to me. I shut my eyes tight, trying to chase away the visions of times when my father would take my brother for ice-cream nearly every day. I covered my ears as the sounds of our past laughter flooded to my ears as well. My breathing became a scary gasping sound that was even shallower than just a few minutes ago. We were so happy and in a moment, my world shattered. I often blamed myself for my father's murder. I felt that if I had been a little quicker and maybe if I wasn't so shocked as to who was behind the trigger, I could have moved him away from his murderer or maybe I could have taken the bullet for him.

It was all in the past now.

As my breathing had calmed down a bit, I raised my head slowly and looked at the water bottle and Tylenol in front of me. This was it. This would be my salvation. In a few hours, it would all be over. I won't be a failure anymore and everything would be okay.

Most important of all, though…

I'd get to see my father again.

After a few seconds, I reached out for the bottle, counting out the pills. Thirty five in all. Thirty five reasons for me to disappear. Thirty five reasons why I wasn't wanted. Thirty five clues as to why I was a failure. I swallowed each one quickly, resisting the urge to swallow all of them at once. As I swallowed the last one, I barely heard the bell signaling the end of lunch ring over the loud thought in my head.

Thirty five reasons for me to die.

**_Four more hours_**

When the bell rang for the end of the school day, I bolted out of the building, my whole body trembling as I found solace in my car. I fumbled for my car keys that seemed to want to stay in my jeans. I mumbled curses at my penchant for wearing the tightest jeans that I could find. My hands shook terribly as I put the key in the ignition after a few times missing it due to my shaky state. I was definitely feeling the effects of over dosing as I backed out of the car lot. For once in my life, I drove super slowly, actually terrified I would get into a wreck or get pulled over. My stomach churned terribly and cramped from its lack of proper nourishment mixed with the slew of pills I had consumed that day. My whole body convulsed every few minutes, especially when I bought my car to a stop.

Since lunch, I had consumed fifteen more pills and I was feeling like I was both on cloud nine and in hell. I was on cloud nine because I knew my body couldn't take the amount of acetometaphin I had consumed and I just knew I would die within the next few hours. I was in hell, though, because I felt like I was constantly seizing and my vision was becoming distorted and fuzzy. My head was spinning and I felt like I could throw up for days. I also felt very lethargic, as if my body was against any and all movement I tried to force it to do. Despite all this, I was happy that soon I would be nothing more than a memory. Well, I would just be a face in someone's life that wouldn't be there anymore. As I turned down the road of the small suburban area we lived in, I reflected on this pathetic place I lived in.

Now, it wasn't pathetic because I'm some spoiled rich kid who wanted a mansion. No, I rather detested huge houses. They were too big and too empty. This town was pathetic because no one left. You were born here, you lived here, and you died here. They hated change so I was an unwelcome change to this place when I first moved here. Of course, everyone loved my brother when he had come to visit. They thought him brave and responsible for taking over the family business. I on the other hand was the emo kid that was supposedly the cause of all of the family turmoil. They all thought that I would turn crazy because of my mother. I never showed that I cared but every night, after they would shout hurtful things to me; I would sit in my room and cry. Every insult, every whisper, every rumor about me stabbed me in the heart. It was bad enough that I became a pariah in my previous town after my father's death, but now everyone decided to break the kid who was already broken.

When I reached my house, my heart sank into my stomach. I saw my mom's car in the driveway and I assumed that she had returned home after I left for school. My mother stayed out every night at the bar, then came home early in the morning drunk out of her with some hot guy on her arm. I hated the weekends because she would bring these guys home and I would wake up to her cries of pleasure from the other side of the house and even sometimes from the den. When I would wake up, I would find her passed out naked and the random guy rushing out the door. The men never paid me any mind, nor did I them. It wasn't their fault. Then my mother would wake up with a wicked hangover and come barging into my room when she found her lover gone. She blamed it on me that the flavor of the night had disappeared when they saw me. She would then start to punch me, screaming that I always ruined her happiness, that I ruined this family and that I should have died and not my father. When she was done, she would proceed to the liquor cabinet in order to chase her hangover away.

I pulled into the driveway behind my mother's posh BMW. I didn't bother grabbing my book bag from the back of my car for fear of throwing up if I bent over to get it. I trudged towards my door, my body still full of trembles. I shakily opened the door and shut it gingerly when I entered. I pulled my shoes off at the door, a tradition my parents had brought from Japan and even enforced here. I padded my way down the hall and into the den. Upon arriving, I saw my mother sitting at the kitchen table in the dining room that was joined with the den. She was glaring at me, puffing at her cigarette, a habit developed shortly after my dad died. The woman staring at me was not my mother though. She was just a person who talked like my mother and resembled my mother. The woman at that table had her hair pulled up in a messy bun; her hair was a rat nest heaven complete with fly away hairs and knotted in several places with gray patches. Her face was botched with yellow spots as well as her eyes were yellowing and the once ageless face was filled with wrinkles and dark circles under her eyes. Her body wasn't chubby but she had an alcohol belly that ruined the natural curves she used to have. She wore a slinky outfit that was more for a twenty year old and not a forty five year old woman. Three years ago, even for some time after my dad's death, she had been breath taking. Her hair was brushed and perfectly straight. She never needed any make up because she had flawless skin from eating healthily and exercising. Her body definitely thanked her for those good choices for she was toned but also naturally curvy. She was flawless and she looked twenty for a good twenty years.

She and I glared at each other for a good five minutes before she motioned for me to come over to her. I reluctantly went over to her and I had to stand a good three feet away from her because of the alcohol and cigarette stench. "Sasuke, dear," she said in a fake sweet voice. "Where did my visitor go this morning?" I simply shrugged because I feared that if I opened my mouth, I would puke all over her. Although I would love to, I'd rather not get beat up again. She growled at my response and grabbed me by my collar, pulling me close to her. "You fucking liar," she snarled. I tried to look unafraid but my body failed me by sending another round of trembles and twitching. "I didn't see anyone this morning, I swear," I whispered softly and it was true. I should have expected the fist that flew into my face and knocking me to the ground. I looked at my mother, her eyes flared with anger. Usually she was done with one punch but today she pulled up the sleeve of my sweater and pushed the lit end of her cigarette into my arm. My body arched in pain, but I bit back the screams and tears that threatened to make their way out as she pushed it farther into my skin. No matter how many times she did this, I never fought back. It would be futile and I knew she would be vindictive enough to call the police on me.

After a few minutes of her burning that one spot, she looked at the now crumpled life form below her. She gave me the famous Uchiha smirk and made her way to the door. "I'm going out," she stated as if I cared. I knew she wouldn't be home until late, which was perfect because I'd be dead by then. Not like she cares if I am. "Your brother may be here later if he has the time." She said this as she walked out of the door not even looking at me as she left.

My body couldn't take the burn and the pills and I threw up all over the marble floor of the dining area. I started convulsing as well and all I could do was curl into myself and lay there on the cold ground.

I just didn't have the strength to pick myself up anymore.

**_30 more minutes_**

I woke with a start to my stomach churning again. I noticed that I had fallen asleep on the floor of the dining room and the smell of the vomit next to my head floated into my nostrils and caused me to be even more nauseous. I got on my hands and knees but my body started seizing again and I proceeded to vomit again. I went into a panic because I didn't want to throw up everything that was in my system and then it was all for nothing. My pills were still in my car so as I stood up I walked over to my mother's liquor cabinet and pulled out a full bottle of vodka. I popped the bottle open and chugged it down, reveling in the sweet burning sensation it made in my throat and in my chest as it made its way to my blood stream. In a couple of minutes, half of it was gone and that seemed to be enough because my body started trembling and convulsing some more. I glanced at the clock and smirked. I could only hope that in the next thirty minutes, my planned time of death, that I would be indeed dead.

Being an Uchiha, though, I wanted do a thorough job.

I walked, well stumbled really, to the bathroom that was joined to my room. I glanced at the mirror and at the person reflected in it. My hair was matted in sweat and stuck to my forehead and the back of my neck. I smirked at myself, finally happy that I would succeed at something. I rummaged through the drawers next to my sink for the thing I knew would finish the job. I found the secret bag of mine and pulled it out and sunk down to the ground with it. I started feeling the effects of the alcohol distorting my vision and causing my body to sway slightly. I unzipped the small bag slowly, excitement bubbling up inside of me for the activity that I was going to participate in.

I looked into the bag to see the many tiny slivers of silver salvation before me. These razors had scored my arms, legs, and stomach more than once and the scars that covered my body were too many to count. This habit was nothing new to me and started shortly after my dad died. The sharp pain they caused often killed the monsters welling up inside me and dulled the pain from my dad's death and served to dull the pain of people's words and the abuse handed to me by the hands of others. Itachi saw the scars on my arms once and of course I promised I had stopped but none was such the case.

I pulled up both of my sleeves and grabbed a rather sharp new razor. I dipped it into my left arm first relishing in the blood that spurted out from each slice made into my skin. The blood looked sickeningly beautiful against my pale skin. I sliced over already scarred flesh and I cut all the way up to the crease of my elbow. I felt myself going limp as I let my arm flop to the ground into a pool of blood already forming. I was starting to feel out of it and I could feel my consciousness slip. I heard the front door to the house open but I didn't care. It was probably Itachi but I would be dead before he found me. I gathered my strength and continued the lacerations but onto my right arm.

"Mom?" I heard Itachi's worried voice call.

"_You know she's not here, aniki. She's never here_" I slashed at my skin more harshly this time.

"Sasuke?" He now called coming closer to my room.

"_I'm almost dead aniki. Please stay away_."

I heard him enter my room undoubtedly seeing my bathroom light on. I almost felt bad that he would be the one to find me. I heard my bathroom door open quickly and I heard Itachi's gasp.

"SASUKE!"

"I'm sorry." I said this time, my voice barely above a whisper.

Then everything went black.

"_I'm coming to see you, father_."


	2. Hopeless

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I just finished school and finals and I had to look for a job and stuff just kinda been sucking. Thanks for the faves and follows and the reviews. I really appreciate it! If you have any questions, please let me know and any suggestions are welcome. I'm sorry this chapter sucks too. I love you all. 3**

**Disclaimer: If Naruto were mine, there would be a lot of shirtless Sasuke... On top of Naruto. Hehehe**

Chapter 1- Hopeless

There is no feeling compared to that of being so close to death you could taste it. So close to death, in fact, you can see the path to the afterlife. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world. It was as if everything was ok. It was like I actually belonged in death's clutches. I was surrounded by darkness, my vision only seeing the path to the afterlife ahead of me. The path was golden, and it glowed as if the sun were shining on it. I felt every emotion I never could muster in my life. I felt joy, joy for being dead. Love for the new life ahead of me. Confident that I didn't fail at something. I actually felt like a human being. Nothing could ever go wrong here. I thought about how happy I would be here. It would be amazing knowing that I was somewhere where I could never do anything wrong. Somewhere where I felt whole and safe. These thoughts made me smile a real smile, something I hadn't been able to do in so long. The path I was walking was straight and it felt good and right. This is what was meant for me. I continued down, nothing getting in my way. It was just me, the darkness and the path. I sauntered along, enjoying all the new emotions and beauty awakening within me. Even the path itself was gorgeous against the darkness around me. That's when everything went wrong. At first I didn't know what was happening. Everything around me started shaking, my vision getting blurry. Then, my path started winding around, making circles and splitting in different directions. The darkness was slowly becoming light again. I started running, but my feet wouldn't go fast enough. My glorious path started breaking and disappearing, my darkness fading even more. I sunk to the ground and screamed as my afterlife disappeared.

When my eyes opened, I squinted in pain at the fluorescent lights that bore brightly into my eyes. That little moment of pain made me aware of the sharp pains that were coursing through my body. My ears were ringing and were filled with an incessant mechanical beeping that became instantly annoying. Then a smell filled my nose, a smell that was medicinal as well as filled with death and un-comfort. It took me a minute to put the pieces together.

I was in the hospital.

And hospitals were my mortal enemy. I always refused to go to a hospital, even if I was deathly ill. One time, I broke my ankle playing soccer and I kicked and screamed until my parents allowed me to just get a home doctor. Suffice it to say, I hate hospitals.

I let out an audible groan that seared and burned my dry throat. My groans soon turned into tears of pain. The physical pain wasn't what concerned me; it was the pain in my heart. I had failed at something as simple as killing myself, a feat that shouldn't have been so hard. My sobs wracked my whole body and churned my stomach as well as clutched on my chest and lungs. The cries quickly shifted to hysterics and the hysterics shifted to a panic attack. My breathing became shallow and I heaved and gasped, trying to capture my breath. I attempted to lift my hands to try to grab my head as voices crawled into my ears calling me a failure but I quickly learned that my hands and legs were tied down. This only made me panic more and I started screeching and flailing around.

"Otouto!" I heard a voice yell. I looked over to see my brother, worry evident on his young face. Itachi bounded out of his seat and over to me. He held my face in between his big hands and began caressing it calmly. "Breathe, otouto," he whispered softly, "Deep breaths." He tried to stay calm himself, but his voice betrayed him. I looked into his dark eyes and I immediately felt comfort from them. One of his hands found solace in stroking my hair gently, his other hand holding my face toward his, forcing me to look into his eyes. My breathing started to slow a little and I made myself mimic his own calm breathing. I then realized that there was a burning sensation that was originating from my arms. I looked down to see that my arms were bandaged but the bandages were quickly becoming more red and soaked. ""Tachi?" I groaned softly. "What's wrong?" he asked in that worry filled tone. I simply looked down at my arms to signal what was bothering me, not wanting to speak. I watched as he looked at my bandaged arms and his eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Sasuke," he whispered, sadness lacing his every word, "Why?" With those simple words he walked out to look for a nurse.

I never saw Itachi's face with such emotion on it. He always presented himself with an emotionless, aloof aura that came with all Uchihas. We were bred business people and Itachi was the perfect embodiment of that. Even at our father's funeral, he was the strong symbol of what it everyone saw an Uchiha to be. He let me be the one to cry and throw a fit at the funeral, while he stood tall and poised in a crisp suit. Itachi was always the strong one out of us. I did hold the coldness he had and the dark personality, but my mask often slipped. I'll be the first to admit, I had more emotion. That's why my father wanted us both to inherit the company. Itachi could be the iron fist while I could be a bit more of a sound of reason. He never got to see his sons inherit the company though. Itachi inherited the company himself after dad's death because he had a master's in business management and I still had to finish high school. I always thought that I would follow in those footsteps but after my dad died, so did my dream.

Itachi quickly came back with a tall blonde nurse who I could easily identify as his life- long friend, Deidara. He was a bit shorter than my brother and he had very long, dark blond hair with bangs that covered the left of a set of icy blue eyes. He always had his hair up, even when I saw him in the hospital, his hair was up in a high pony tail. His body was lengthy and lean. One would think he was a dancer, but he wasn't. He was an artist, a painter. He would come to the Uchiha mansion often and he and Itachi would spend hours studying then painting together. Itachi helped him with nursing school and in turn, Deidara would teach him to paint. I would often study with them and read while they painted. While being very hyperactive, Deidara was very gentle and kind and I loved being in his presence. It was always a lively occasion when he was there. The Uchiha household used to always be a lively place until it all fell apart.

The usual kind smile Deidara's face fell to a somber expression when he saw me. It broke my heart right in two to see his happy face so pained and sad. Anger immediately tugged in my throat because I wanted whoever caused him to make such a face. Anger was quickly replaced with severe guilt since it was because it was me who put such a dour expression on his face. I never wanted this to happen. I knew that everything would be better if I wasn't there. My brother wouldn't be in a chair crying and Deidara wouldn't be so sad looking.

Deidara peeled off the bandages on my arms carefully and disposed of them in a biohazard box nearby. I looked at my arms, which were covered with newly bled blood, and I noticed how severe it was. Angry cuts were slashed over old scars that started from the base of my wrist to the crook of my elbow. I also noticed that I had cut over the burn mark my mom made earlier that evening. I heard Itachi's breath hitch when he looked at my arms as Deidara found more bandages. "Sasuke…" I heard him whisper from the chair. He hung his head low and I saw his back heave fast and hard from silent sobs that seemed to rock his whole body.

Deidara passed Itachi and briefly rubbed his back to comfort him. He walked over to me and quickly applied disinfectant while wiping the excess blood. It was a sickening smell that filled the air that was a mixture of alcohol and the copper-y smell of blood. Deidara was quick with cleaning my wounds and very gentle. I watched as his pale, bony fingers deftly swept over my arms, effectively clearing them of the excess blood that built up. He wrapped my arms tight with new bandages and I watched his normally cheerful face contort with sadness as he dressed my wounds. I never doubted that he cared about me, but not enough to upset him over my suicide attempt.

What hurt me the most though was to watch my brother have his head down looking toward the floor. His normally perfect hair wasn't in its polished pony, but was loosely worn down his back and looked like he hadn't brushed it in days. He wasn't in his usual business attire, but in a shirt three times his size and sweatpants. When he lifted his head to look at me, I couldn't believe what I saw. His usually expressionless eyes were full of fear and hurt. They swam in unshed tears and were bloodshot from the tears he did cry. His eyes were dark from sleepless nights and his face was two times paler than usual. It hurt to see his eyes boring into mine with question and hurt… and _betrayal_. Guilt immediately shot through my body and settled in my stomach.

After Deidara washed his hands and disposed of my dirty bandages, he walked over to Itachi and offered a small smile and a soothing back rub to my brother. There was no doubt in my mind that they were in love with each other but they were both too stupid to admit it. Growing up, I saw the way they smiled at each other and the way they interacted. Even now, I never saw such a connection between two people. The way they looked at one another at this moment, Deidara's face full of understanding, and Itachi's screaming for comfort, and the way Deidara touched him so gently and Itachi leaning into it unconsciously was so beautiful.

It was so beautiful but pained my heart.

I let the tears welling up in my eyes at the sight fall. I wanted Itachi to be happy and I was in the way of this moment. Most of all, it hurt to know that I would never be looked at or touched that way.

After a few minutes, Deidara got up and walked over to me again. He smiled softly and removed the restraints from my hands and feet. "You haven't had any seizures in twenty- four hours, so I think it's safe to take these off." He said mostly for Itachi's benefit. When the restraints were gone, my wrists and ankles sighed in relief. I moved to sit up but it was then that I realized how much my body ached. The cuts on my arms didn't hurt at all but my abdomen screamed in protest to my movements and my legs felt numb. I clutched my mid-section and settled back down instead of fighting my body's protest. I heard Deidara sigh worriedly as he helped lift my body for me, one gentle hand behind my back to hold me up and he set the pillows in a more comfortable position with the other hand and he pulled my body up. It still hurt but he really alleviated that pain. I sat back and sighed.

"Thank you." I whispered, avoiding the scorching pain that was in my throat earlier. He nodded and inhaled. "You gave us a real good scare, kid," he stated, not even hiding the concerned tone. I looked at him with an eyebrow quirked up, making it clear that I was asking him to tell me why the hell I was alive. "Well, when you got here, you had extensive blood loss as well as a drug overdose and alcohol poisoning. We had to do two blood transfusions and some harsh detox and stomach pumping. Suffice it to say, you are damn lucky to be alive." I scoffed. "Hn, lucky." I whispered, a disappointed scowl appearing on my face. "You are. And don't you sneeze at this. You were seizing so bad for three days straight after your surgeries that we had to restrain you because sedating you would have been too risky in your condition. Also, you should be a little more grateful because your loving brother donated the blood for your transfusion." Deidara snapped at me, his soft face now glaring at me harshly.

My throat constricted in guilt and I couldn't help the sobs that burst out of my system in that moment. I brought my hands to my face to avoid the looks I was going to get for showing such weakness. I was still causing problems for people, and I just wanted to disappear. Itachi deserved a better brother than me and he deserved Deidara always gentle and not showing this new emotion I never saw out of him. I felt what were Itachi's hands beginning to weaving through my hair in an attempt to soothe me. "Sasuke, please stop. It's okay now. You're okay." Itachi's voice huskily said in my ears. "I'm sorry, kid," Deidara said, concern lacing his voice, "It's just stressful seeing someone you love almost die and then seeing the other person you love so upset over it. I shouldn't have snapped like that." I heard Deidara pat Itachi on the back and leave the room, undoubtedly to give us some alone time. After a few minutes of Itachi stroking my hair, I calmed down, reducing my sobs to a few sniffles. It was very silent for a while after my hysteric episode and I reveled in the silence, the only things in my ears were Itachi's slow breathing and my beating heart.

Itachi abruptly got up and brought a chair over to my bed and settled himself into it. I looked over to him as he sat down, his eyes boring into mine. I braced myself for the upcoming conversation were going to have. He sighed and ran his hand through the unkempt strands of black hair and crossed his legs professionally. As he opened his mouth, I muttered a soft, "I'm sorry." I turned away to avoid his eyes that were staring into my soul. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Sasuke. This is partly my fault. I should have seen how much you were in pain. I ignored all the times you begged me to let you come live with me and I let you stay with that heinous woman. I should have listened to you and gotten you out of there. And I'm sorry, outouto," Itachi coked out the last part sadly, "What I want to know is why?" My head snapped up at the question. I had expected him to launch into a lecture into how much he loved me and how I should have sought for more help, but I didn't expect for him to ask me why in such a pleading tone. He stared into my eyes with that pained expression again before continuing to talk.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad? Why didn't you explain to me that it went further than mother just hurting you with words? I know you didn't give yourself that cigarette burn," he motioned to my arm, "And I know you didn't give yourself those bruises. My god, Sasuke, when I found you, her _handprint _was etched into your face! When did you start this dangerous self-harm business? Just how much pain have you been in," he started to cry at this point, "That's not all. The doctors told me that you had a torn rectum. I know you never had an interest in anyone, not even when you were a kid. Oh god, outouto, who would do this to you? Has it always been in this way?" Itachi sniffled and looked toward the ground, "I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I should have paid better attention to you. I should have known that something this bad was going on. I was supposed to protect you. Dad always told me that it was my duty to make sure nothing ever happened to you and to destroy anyone who hurt you," He started getting angry and I shrunk into my pillows in fear, "I was supposed to help you, be your safe haven and I let you stay with that… that _bitch_. I just stood around and let that leech hit you and insult you and break you down to this. Then I learn that you've been getting raped probably every day and I wasn't there to kill the bastard who dared lay a finger on you!" Itachi grabbed my hand and buried his head near my side as he shook his head at himself, "Oh, Sasuke, my most precious little brother. Could you ever forgive me? I understand if you hate me for not being there for you and not listening to you when you obviously needed me and needed to escape that place, but please at least forgive me. I shouldn't have brushed this off. I shouldn't have told you to wait there until you were eighteen. You already went through so much and then you witnessed dad get killed then I made you go through so much more. I love you so much Sasuske and I'm sorry." Itachi was sobbing at this point, clutching to my hand as if it was a lifeline. I felt so terrible about being the cause of my brother's pain and I hated causing any problems for him.

I reached my free hand over to his head and began stroking his hair like he did to me earlier. I looked at his heaving body wracked with uncontrolled sobbing. I never thought Itachi would blame himself for what I did. I knew he cared about me but I always thought he would be better without me. He always worried so much and worked hard at the company so that I could get through to eighteen and move in with him. I wanted him to never have to focus on me. I loved him more than anything on this Earth and now I was the cause of his pain and now more worry. I sighed and continued to stroke his head. "It's not your fault," I whispered after a few minutes. Itachi looked up at me, tears still in his eyes. "I never wanted to cause you any trouble or pain so I never said anything to you. I just thought that you and mother would be better without me," I let the tears in my eyes flow freely. "I'm the one who is sorry, aniki. I just thought you would be happier without me and no one would miss me. So, don't apologize. All is forgiven. I have caused you so much pain and no matter what you do, I will always forgive you. Nothing I do will ever make this up to you. I love you so much aniki, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a bad brother and I'm sorry for everything." My crying soon matched his and his hand gripped me tighter. He lifted his head to look at me, his eyes full of passion and determination.

"Never apologize for this, Sasuke. I vowed to always protect you and always love you and help you no matter what. None of this is your fault." Itachi rose and wiped the tears that stained his eyes and face. "Starting now, I am going to make this right." I looked up at my brother towering over me, his stance demanding authority and respect. He inhaled and gathered himself before continuing. "I withdrew you from that school," _Yes!_, "And I have gotten you into the best mental institute in the whole country. You will be provided the best tutor so that you may graduate high school and to start college if you so choose." My eyes widened at this and I just started at him like an idiot. "I know you may hate me for this but I'm admitting you for the six to twelve month adolescent unit."

No.

I could barely stay at a hospital for two hours, let alone six months.

"Aniki, I'm fine. I can handle this. I turn eighteen soon and then I can move out and everything will be okay!" I was desperate to change his mind, and my tone clearly showed that. I watched as Itachi shook his head and put his hand to his head. "No, outouto, you are not alright. You tried to kill yourself in a fashion that if I had not found you, you would have been dead in an hour. On top of that, you have scars everywhere from cutting and other mysterious scars from being hit by that _woman_ and probably from someone else you can tell me about later. On top of that, you've been raped," I opened my mouth to protest and he held up his hand to stop me, "Don't deny it, I know. And you watched our dad get murdered. I know you hate hospitals but it will do you a world of good. I looked this place up and I even visited it to talk to the doctors and nurses. You will be treated with the utmost care and you will be very comfortable. Please, outouto. I'm doing this for you. I want you to be better." I looked at those pleading black eyes and I caved. I looked down and nodded, not wanting to give a verbal response because I knew my voice would fail me.

Itachi offered me a small smile and gave me a touch to my forehead like he always did. "You will be going there in a few hours, around ten at night so that you can get checked in easier. It's 9 in the morning now so try to get some sleep and at noon we can go to the cafeteria for lunch and I'll get your clothes and some books for you from the house. Sound good?" I nodded my head and turned to my side facing my brother and he sat in his chair. I watched him and he pulled a brush from his bag and began to brush his hair. Normally, I would watch him because Itachi combing his hair was a beautiful sight but then something he said earlier hit me.

"Hey, aniki," I questioned. He looked at me with an offer to continue with what I wanted to ask. "How long have I been here for?" He laughed and looked up at me. "About a week and you were out until a while ago." I was surprised at this, but I hid it. I yawned trying to fight sleeping because I wanted to talk to my aniki. I realized then that I missed his presence. I missed seeing the real person behind that cold mask. I missed the love I felt from him. I missed Itachi and for a moment, I was happy there, watching him comb his hair.

Soon, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

We left the hospital at nine- thirty, a little behind schedule due to some trouble with getting my things. I convinced Itachi to go there at eight so that he would be sure to not run into our mother. He had packed me a rather big suitcase full of all of my clothes that could be worn at the hospital along with my favorite books and magazines and the notebooks I loved to write in. He took a while to pack them and when he returned, his face was pale and full of fear. I decided that as he ushered me out of my room quickly at nine thirty that I would question what happened at the house on the way to the hospital. As we left, we bid our farewells to Deidara. The blond man pulled me into a tight hug and whispered, "Get better, Sasuke. Not only for Itachi but for yourself." I nodded, not wanting to crush his dreams by telling him that I doubted I would get better.

We walked out into the cool, night air and to Itachi's BMW. I settled myself into the passenger's side, sinking myself into the comfortable black leather seats. Itachi climbed in and turned the key in the ignition. He put the air conditioning on warm, knowing I loved the feel of the warmth of the car.

Itachi sped out of the parking lot as soon as he was backed out. He probably wanted out of there as much as I did. I leaned my head against the window and watched as the night life outside sped by in a blur of lights. I felt myself trying to sleep again but I fervently fought against it.

I had never been so tired in my life until that point.

I sat up and leaned back in my seat sighing. "Hey, Itachi?" I said, as I got comfortable. He hummed in question, keeping his eyes focused on the road. "What happened at the house? You looked like you had seen a ghost when you came to get me." I saw his grip tighten on the steering wheel and he his nose flared in anger. "One week," he started. It took him a minute to gather his thoughts, I presumed because the statement didn't click in my head. "One week, you haven't been there and that woman didn't bother to clean the blood or any other mess in that house. And she hasn't called to see where you were or are at this moment." Itachi was seething. He was beginning to see what our mother did to me and it made him furious. "Mark my words, Sasuke, she will pay for what she did to you." His voice was chilling as he said that and the coolness of his voice sent shivers up my spine. "Speaking of which, what will you tell her when she asks where I am?" I asked even though I didn't really care at this point. To my surprise, he just shrugged. "_If_, which I doubt she will now, _if_ she asks, I'll just say that you decided to move in with me or something." It was moments like these that made me love who my brother was. He was stern and caring but he was cool sometimes. He would cover for me a lot before he took over the company and essentially before dad died so that we could hang out on a school day or just stay out late at night and not care about the world.

It was times like these that reminded me that I had a brother who cared about me.

We pulled into the Konoha Mental Institute and what I saw wasn't what I expected.

I expected a prison like building that had bars on windows and barbed wire surrounding it while lightning light up the background. I expected it to look dark and abandoned, without any signs of life. What I saw left me in shock.

It was a medium sized building that looked like a house rather than a hospital. The outside was cream colored and lights illuminated the beautiful architecture. There were bushes of roses and beds of flowers surrounding the building. Tall willow trees decorated the grounds sporadically that gave it more of an elegant feel. The windows looked secure but without bars, just maybe permanently locked. It was all one story but the building stretched to a decent size. I immediately felt calm at the sight of the hospital, relieved that it didn't look like a prison.

Itachi grabbed my bags from the trunk of his car and led me to the lobby of the hospital. As we walked in, I was met with a burst of cold air that shocked me. The inside was more beautiful than the outside. The floors were a beautiful marble and everything looked professionally placed. The inside looked like an office building, not a hospital. We walked over to the receptionist and I blocked out whatever they were talking about and focused my attention to my feet. I was wearing slippers as to make my move here more efficient. I also wore no belt with my jeans and a sweater to cover up the bandages. After a few minutes a dark haired nurse came up to us, her pink scrubs matching the sweet smile on her face. I looked at Itachi with uncertainty.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with Itachi and be with him forever. I knew he could help me and I thought I could do this on my own. Itachi grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in the familiar, comforting scent. "It will be all okay, outouto." He said and he stroked my hair. "It'll all be okay soon and I'll be sure to visit as much as I can."

There was not much more I could say to him. I just held him tightly for a minute before backing away. "I love you, aniki." He smiled at me and put his fingers to my forehead and ruffled my hair. I picked up my suitcase and followed the nurse down the hallway. She was a short, young woman with short dark brown hair. She had a very sweet aura around her and I couldn't help but feel comfortable in her presence immediately. As we made our way down the hall, she leafed through papers on her clipboard. "Sasuke Uchiha. Wow, you are lucky to be alive." Her small voice rang through the silence. She glanced at me and gave me a smile. "Well, you should like it here. I'm Shizune, and I'm head nurse here and I feel free to ask me anything while you're here." We came to a set of double doors and she waved her ID through a scanner to open them. We walked into a vast room with a flat screen in front of a dozen chairs. I could see a small fridge next to a desk on the other side of the area probably for drinks and snacks.

There was a long stretch of hallway a few feet away from the T.V area that had about ten doors along it. The place was nice and bright and big. I felt so small in this moment and I looked to Shizune. "Welcome to the adolescent unit, more specifically, the long term unit. Lights are out by nine and we wake up at seven. Your therapist is Kakashi Hatake and you will have therapy with him twice a day. There will be another nurse here tomorrow to go over more of what you do during the day but that's what you need to know." She walked me over to a room with the number seven on it and smiled. "This is your room and you have a roommate. I'm sure he will be more than happy to help you get through your day tomorrow. Any questions?"

I shook my head "no" and she opened the door. "Good luck." Shizune smiled and lightly ushered me into the room.

I saw a small sleeping form with its back turned toward me. I didn't like the thought of having a roommate, but I'd deal with it. I set my suitcase next to my bed and flopped down on it. I pulled the thin covers over me and I quickly fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, and I opened my eyes toward my roommate's bed.

And when I opened my eyes, I swore I saw the sky.


	3. Alone

**A/N: Hello everyone! *dodges randomly thrown objects* yes, I know I was away for a long time but I had a real difficulty with this chapter because it's an awkward introduction chapter that transitions to the plot and stuff but I am so damn happy I finished it because now we can get to the good stuff! *evil laughter***

**Note: This is written based on my knowledge of mental hospitals that have long term units. If any of you have anything to add feel free to let me know. Also, every hospital is different so I'm just going to make this a little flexible I guess. Seriously though, give me feedback on this.**

**Warning: I never gave a trigger warning but I went back and changed that. This story will have self-harm, murder witnessing, talks of suicide, rape (NOT IN DETAIL I PROMISE), eating disorders, depression, and some other mental illnesses. I will let you all know when the list changes.**

**Disclaimer: Sasuke and Naruto have yet to screw so I don't own it.**

**PLEASE READ A/N AT THE BOTTOM**

**Chapter 2- Alone**

In that moment if someone were to tell me that the blue eyes before me weren't the sky, I wouldn't have believed it. It was only when the face they were attached to was revealed that I threw away the notion that the sky was there. Even so, the boy before me was shockingly beautiful to say the least.

Muscles rippled under an old orange sweater as he rose and stretched his arms over his head. Golden blond hair fell down to his shoulders in untamed spikes and framed a round face marred with three whisker-like scars on each cheek. His skin appeared to be a lovely sun kissed tan that just begged to be touched. He was lean, with wire-y muscled that seemed to frame every inch of his upper body. Suffice it to say, the boy before me wasn't the sky, but a whole beautiful, sunny day.

For some unknown reason, it annoyed me when he looked at me, a white-toothed smile that seemed to radiate from his face._ God he is so attractive. _NO, I did not just think that! I turned on my stomach and groaned into my pillow, wishing that I could just disappear. His eyes seemed to be glued to me and it irritated me to no end. I just wanted to launch myself at him and wipe that smile off his face.

I felt his eyes still on me and I turned my head to peek at him from my pillow sanctuary. He was now looking at me with his head tilted cutely to the side, worry slightly read on his face. I buried my face back into my pillow to hide. The blond boy laughed melodically and I heard his feet land on the ground. "I know you're new and all buddy, but you can't lie here all day. There's shit to do and things to see." He said in a cheery tone. I groaned again, the swirling in my stomach coming back again from his beautiful voice.

"There's nothing to see and nothing to do. I don't belong here, kid. So, leave me alone." I grumbled from my pillow. Though there was no denying that this guy was beautiful and probably friendly, I had to keep my guard up. Making friends meant putting your trust in someone and that was something I would never do. Trust and promises are always broken so why even bother with them?

The boy snorted and I heard him cross the room, undoubtedly to wherever his stuff was. "You shouldn't have that kind of attitude. That will only keep you here longer." He said in a serious tone. "Anyway," I listened to a bag unzip and a ruffling through things that were probably clothes, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be your roommate for at least six months so please try not to be an insufferable bastard in the meantime." There was joking in his tone, but I wasn't amused. Quite the opposite, actually. My body flew up and I glared at the blond with a stupid grin on his face. I gritted my teeth, "My name is Sasuke. Just Sasuke, and if you ever talk to me like that again, I'll make sure you never speak again." I spat out as I threw my sheets off of me.

I stalked past my blond roommate and to the bathroom without a backward glance. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I was a despicable human being. The kid was just trying to be nice and I was a complete prick to him. I also knew, though, that if I accepted whatever attempt at friendship he offered, it would be short lived. I didn't want friends, didn't need friends and as soon as he found out who I was, he would hit the road and never speak to me again. Plus, I didn't need him or anyone else. I didn't need friends anyway. I was fine on my own.

I looked at my reflection for the first time in days. My eyes were still outlined in black, enhancing the darkness in my eyes. My hair looked as if it hadn't been brushed in days. I looked down and realized I was still in my clothes from the day before. I needed a shower badly but I settled for splashing some water in my face for the time being.

I pulled up the sleeves of my sweater only to find bandages splotched with blood. My arms didn't hurt so much at that point, just a dull annoyance. I sighed and sunk to the ground.

I was so close.

I almost died.

And now I was making Itachi's life a living hell. Why didn't he just let me die? He wouldn't have to take care of me or worry about my well-being. All I could think about was why him? Why my dad? Why was I so…

_Alone_.

I pulled my sleeves down, forced myself up, and I looked at myself in the mirror once again.

I hated myself so much. I should have died, I shouldn't be here! I was just a disappointment and I couldn't even succeed in killing myself. I balled up my fists and hit the mirror. Each time my fist connected with the mirror, I got more irritated that it didn't break. I was seething mad when I heard a quiet snicker from the other side of the door. I ceased my actions and snarled, glaring at the door, hoping the anger radiated to the person on the opposite side.

"Ya know, teme, that mirror doesn't break. Believe me, I've tried." The boy chuckled. I swung the door open and growled at the giggling idiot on the other side. "Thanks for the help, _dobe._" I ground out and stormed off. The blond went into the bathroom to change while I went over to my suitcase and unpacked my things. There was a small shelf on my side of the room that was presumably for my clothes and other items.

I placed the massive amount of clothes neatly on two shelves, a couple of pairs of flip-flops and slippers on the next. I was very pleased to find that Itachi had packed many of my favorite books as well as my pen and notebook. I placed those neatly along the last shelf seeing as how that amount wouldn't have fit on the one before it. As I put my tooth brush, toothbrush, and shampoo on the shelf with my sandals and slippers, I stumbled upon another item Itachi packed in there.

It was a simple plastic picture frame with a favorite picture of Itachi and my father. It wasn't extravagant, just the two of them from five years ago. Even though it was a simple picture in an old, cheap frame, it spoke volumes to me. My father had his arm slung around a shorter Itachi's shoulders, and he looked to him with a genuine smile. Five years ago marked when things started to go very sour with my parents and his smiles were rare to begin with. He looked at Itachi with love and pride. His smile reached to his eyes and shone there, wrinkles were becoming predominant in his forehead and in the crows of his eyes and his raven black hair beginning to grey. Nonetheless, he was beautiful and he was happy. I'd give anything to see his smile again, to see him look at me with the same amount of love.

After a minute, I realized that tears were falling from my eyes and onto the plastic glass that held the picture in. I ran my finger over the wet tears that fell on the glass, bringing the frame close to my face. I pressed my lips to it and looked back at it again, still crying. "Sorry, father. I have failed you." I whispered. I had hoped he heard me and that he would forgive me for all that I had done.

I was so lost in my emotion and musings that I almost didn't notice the blond hand me a box of tissues. I couldn't bear to look at him, so I kept my head down, focusing my eyes on the picture frame. He just stood there in front of me, not moving. I looked up cautiously to see the idiot shuffling his feet and looking at me, biting his plump bottom lip. He looked down at his feet when I finally made eye contact with him. "Listen, you probably don't want to be comforted and I'm bad at it but uh… It'll be okay. Just keep your nose clean and you'll be out of here soon." He whispered.

"Hn." I sniffled, grabbing the tissues and wiping my face. I really had to get a hold of myself. Even though the dobe was annoying, he had a point. I just needed to pull off looking like I was fine, that I didn't belong here. The blond scoffed lightly, still looking down and kicking his feet. "I guess that's bastard-ese for 'thank you'." He giggled nervously. I chuckled inwardly. The kid was trying to be my friend.

"I get you're trying to be nice and all but I don't need friends. I don't need anyone and I don't need you. Stay away from me and let me do my thing and we'll get along fine." I snarled softly. "No can do." A deep voice came from the doorway.

I looked up to see a tall, young man in a white coat. '_Ah. The white coats are coming for me._' I thought as I looked the man over. He had dark, piercing eyes with a scar running through the left eye. He had naturally silver hair that spiked up on top his head. The most peculiar thing about the man was the black mask that covered his neck and came up over the bridge of his nose. There was a hint of a smile as he leaned against the door frame.

"Hey, Kakashi." The blond grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. It was then that I noticed that he had changed into a black sweater and bright orange pants. I hated to admit it but it suited the blond well, even though the orange pants were an eyesore. I may not have wanted to get close to the idiot but I could appreciate his looks. The man named Kakashi huffed and looked to the blond. "That's Dr. Hatake to you when you're here, Naruto." The man chastised. "Hello, Sasuke. I'm Dr. Hatake and I'll be your therapist for the duration of your stay here." He said happily before turning to look at the blond. I raised an eyebrow at the two who were now engaging in a glaring contest. _Did Naruto know him?_ Not that I really cared but it piqued my interests slightly. Finally, the blond huffed and made his way out of the room, anger now radiating around him. Kakashi lazily reached his arm out and stopped the blond in his tracks. "Not so fast. You need to hear what I have to say." Kakashi said in a too cheery tone for my tastes. "Sasuke, Naruto here will be your tour guide for today." He crowed happily.

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

"WHAT?!" Naruto and I screamed at the doctor. He covered his ears and whined, "Maa, maa, you two are so loud." I was immediately on my feet, slamming the picture frame on the shelf, opening my mouth to speak only to be cut off by a loud rant from the blond. "If you think for a second that I am going to have this teme trailing around me all day, then you are very terribly mistaken." The blond screeched angrily. I raised my eyebrow again, surprised by this outburst of anger. I had pegged the kid to be the 'everything is all sunshine and rainbows all the time' kinda guy. His mood from this morning seemed to steadily drop and this new information seemed to send him over the edge.

"The idiot has a point. I don't want to follow this dobe like a lost puppy all day." I sighed crossing my arms over my chest. The dobe and the doctor looked over at me, both glaring. Kakashi sighed and shook his head.

"Listen, you two can't get out of this. Shizune's orders. So play nice, or else I'll make sure you both are put in seclusion." The doctor tried to sound threatening but his voice begged us to at least try to be civil. I grunted and walked ahead of the blond. "I can play nice, but I'm not sure if this child can." I waved my hand dismissively, earning a growl from the blond.

"Shut the fuck up, teme." The dobe ground out before launching himself at me. I braced myself for a body to make contact with mine. After a few moments, I looked to see what happened to all that blind, idiotic rage went and saw Kakashi holding a furious dobe back. The doctor's eyes were closed, as if mustering enough serenity to deal with two feuding teenagers. The idiot kept thrashing and snarling at me, still trying to have a go at me. I was surprised, though, that the blue eyes that were cheerful just a few minutes ago were now clouded over with fury.

"Calm down, Naruto," the silver haired doctor said in a soft yet commanding voice. "Come on. You can do better than this." His hands now made their way into the thick blond tresses, stroking in a calm manner. The idiot immediately stopped struggling against the hand that held him back and his breathing became more even, his face becoming less feral and calmer. To any outsider, what was happening would be seen as beautiful. Kakashi's calm voice obviously resonating through Naruto and his dark eyes were soft and so full of love as he looked at the boy he held on to. Upon hearing his voice, Naruto was visibly calmer and he looked to the doctor with admiration and gratitude. It was obvious, their strong bond, even if it was expressed in the most subtle of hints. It was really beautiful.

It broke my heart,

I was alone.

I lost everything.

I couldn't remember the last time my father looked at me like that. Or my mother. Before the hospital, I couldn't even remember Itachi looking at me with such love. He left me alone too. I didn't blame him but that doesn't mean I wasn't any less alone.

I wrapped my arms around myself, drowning out the loving words Kakashi and the idiot were exchanging. The doctor was probably and uncle or a step-father, someone who was always in his life. It did hurt, really and truly. I wanted to feel that warmth again. I wanted to feel like someone loved and cared for me.

I bit into my lip and hung my head low, hoping that somehow traitor tears would not make their way past my eyes.

I never felt so alone.

So unloved.

So forgotten.

I felt like I was an intruder during an intimate moment and I never felt so isolated.

"You okay, teme?" the idiot's voice pulled me out of my reverie. Blue orbs stared at me full of worry. It should have warmed my ice box heart that the little idiot was worried, but I didn't care. I wasn't there to make friends. I was there to make Itachi happy. I wasn't going to get better in or out of that place, so if playing mental patient made him feel better, I would do it.

I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts and grunted a response to the blond. I don't care if it was the idiot or the president, I would never let anyone see that I was broken, that displays of affection stabbed me in the heart and brought flashbacks in my mind from when my dad was alive, when my mom played 'doting' mother even though she hated me, and when Itachi didn't have to worry about a teenager's well-being. I always wanted to cry. I tried not to, but sometimes the pain was just too unbearable.

I often wished that I could go back to that time. Go back to the time when I lived in blissful ignorance, in a place where I at least _felt_ loved and wanted. Sometimes, it was nice to escape back to that time. Other times, it was a painful reminder that my life was a lie.

At that point in time, I wanted nothing more than to end the moment between Kakashi and Naruto. I wanted to escape, get my mind off the painful memories that threatened to make their way into my head. I yanked Naruto out of Kakashi's grip and pulled him out of the room. "C'mon. Show me around this hell hole." I grumbled, not looking at the shocked doctor and the confused blue eyes that both stared at me.

"Personal therapy is after breakfast!" Kakashi called after us. I grumbled again, dreading any type of therapy. Why the hell should I talk about my feelings? I'm in a mental hospital how the fuck do you think I'm doing?

Naruto stopped us short in a room that I vaguely remembered from the night before. A plethora of chairs scattered across the room in front of a large television. A few tables stood amongst the chairs, but everything seemed to be an organized mess. "This is the entertainment room I guess you could call it." Naruto began, speaking in a whisper. "This is where we watch T.V., do homework, play cards, or just socialize." I nodded shortly in acknowledgement. I noticed this is probably the only place for "entertainment" and I was immediately grateful Itachi bought my books and my notebook for me. It wasn't that I was hard to entertain, but it seemed to me that this place wouldn't have a library or a nice radio to play music on. No shock here, but I'm not a fan of T.V. or socializing. "We also have group therapy in here from two to three. Sometimes it's longer but most of the time we stay in that time frame." I groaned mentally. The _last_ thing I wanted to do was talk about my feelings in front of a group of people. I made the decision then to not participate it group therapy. "For those of us who haven't finished school, we get from three 'til six to do school work. It's normally in workbooks and we can call tutors to help us but since most of us are sixteen to eighteen, we usually do it ourselves." It was at that time I was grateful I wouldn't have to do a classroom setting. I was also grateful that I could do these things on my own. I'd get it done quicker. I'd most likely get all those things done in a week or two and I'd be a high school graduate. And it was only November!

When Naruto moved to show me the next few stops on our little tour, I finally noticed that my hand had not left his arm from when I had yanked him out of the room. We both wretched out of the touch at the same time, both our faces now painted with a faint blush. My hand seemed to burn at the fact that I had actually touched another human being willingly and unconsciously kept the hold there. I was so used to human touches that were infrequent and when they did occur, they hurt. I would never admit it but it was nice to feel a touch that didn't hurt, even if it was unintentional.

Naruto didn't say anything about it, thankfully, and led me down the hall, then down another hall connected to it where there were many doors down its length. I noticed some of the doors were open, each was plain from where I was standing, but they looked like they had their own flairs that made each one unique. "This is where the therapist's offices are. Some people, like me, have their own therapist but many others share." I looked to him and I noticed he wasn't attempting to make eye contact with me again. It didn't bother me but he seemed like the kind of guy to look at you while you talked. I shrugged and looked to where he was pointing. "Two doors down and to your left is Kakashi's office. Therapy usually lasts from nine to twelve give or take half an hour depending how much or how little someone talks. Each therapist had three patients, hence why it takes three hours. Each patient has an hour to talk however you may leave after a half hour if you don't want to talk. It will make you look bad if you don't talk at all for the hour but really it's up to you." He shrugged and led me down the same hallway we entered from to the double doors I had remembered coming through the night before.

He led me through the doors, a cool air hitting my face as we made our way across a quiet, empty room. He ushered me to another set of doors that had a bunch of people in it sitting, eating, socializing, or milling about in a daze. "This is the cafeteria. Breakfast is at eight but we make our way up here at seven thirty, when we wake up usually. We're late today, obviously but there's some leeway here since we wake up at seven thirty and not have to be at therapy until nine. We have lunch at twelve thirty and dinner at six. Since a lot of people here have eating disorders, they keep any leftovers in the back and they let you eat when you're ready to eat. Nurses will monitor your eating and report it. If you don't eat enough, they make sure you eat and make you have an extra therapy session each day. You'll obviously be excused for today because you're nervous and all. Tomorrow, though, don't expect to get it easy. The nurses usually check on us every ten minutes when we're in our rooms and when we're just milling about. Before bed is when medicine is given out. Some people get medicine twice a day so they get theirs before lunch. You'll get diagnosed as the week goes on." Naruto ran me through these activities fluidly, becoming a little more chipper as he spoke. "Also, if you're diagnosed with an eating disorder the more you eat, the more points you get toward rewards." I arched an eyebrow at this in question and Naruto picked up on my silent question. "We're here for almost a year most times. They have to give us some incentive and some freedom. You earn points every day you make an effort to get better or improve bad behavior. You get points to go on group field trips, to take walks outside, getting your I-pod or phone, and even leaving the facility for holidays!" I nodded feeling a bit happy that I might be able to con

We made our way through the cafeteria, eliciting stares from those sitting at the tables. They were all young, mostly my age and maybe two fifteen year olds. Most of the group of teenagers sent glares toward, Naruto however I got one hungry look from a blond girl and from a pink haired girl while they glared at Naruto as well. One boy was fast asleep on the table while another boy with triangles on his face poked at the sleeping boy, a red headed boy was glaring into his plate while a long haired boy idly chatted with a girl with long dark hair. I did my best not to make eye contact with any of them, focusing on walking with Naruto. The idiot's demeanor immediately changed as we walked through.

His once straightened and confident shoulders were now hunched over. His head that was held high was turned down toward his feet and his gaze stuck to the floor. The air was tense and sad and it was obviously caused by the table of teenagers sending icy glares at him. I sent them an icy glare of my own, hoping that they would back off the blond. I didn't care about protecting him but I mean, if people were assholes to him then I would have to hear him whine about it and then I might feel bad for making his life hell. Yes, I was making it obvious that I was now the alpha male in making fun of Naruto. I mean, what fun is it to beat a dead horse, right?

I continued my glaring as we went over to where the food was being served. Now, being an Uchiha, I usually prided myself on being cold and uncaring to the outside world but something about the idiot piqued my curiosity and I regretted the question as it tumbled from my lips, "Why do they glare at you?" He snapped his head up and the expression his face made was one that I wished to never see again and prevent it at all costs. Wait, no. I don't care what happens to the idiot. Natural human curiosity got ahead of me this time and it will not happen again. The soft whisper of his voice brought me out of me and to focus on him as he turned away from me and focused on getting his food. "They all hate me for something that wasn't my fault and for a condition that I can't control." His voice was sad and thoughtful, two emotions I was unaware the idiot could express. I hummed in acknowledgement and he took that as a signal to continue talking. "The only people who really don't mind being around me are the group of kids at the end of the table." He inclined his head to the group that didn't seem to glare at him. I threw a piece of toast onto a plate and quickly followed Naruto over to his group of friends. I sat next to him as he seated himself next to the sleeping kid.

I nibbled on my toast quietly as Naruto began his introductions in a happy voice. I was glad his attitude changed back to its happy one. "This is Sasuke guys!" he said loudly with excitement. I nodded at the group who all looked at me. "The lazy ass next to me is Shikamaru Nara and the annoying dog boy next to him is his boyfriend slash roommate, Kiba Inuzaka." The boy with short brown hair and triangles on his face smiled brightly at me and waved before poking the sleeping boy again. "That stud over there is Neji Hyuuga and his cousin Hinata Hyuuga." He said pointing to the two pale eyed teems who looked more like siblings than cousins. Neji had long brown hair that went past his shoulders and was pulled into a loose ponytail while Hinata had long black hair that hung straight down to her waist. Neji nodded to me while Hinata offered me a small smile before continuing her conversation with Neji. "And saving the best for last, that red headed fre-," Naruto cut himself off and got oddly quiet. Both the red headed guy and I both looked at the blond to see why he had gotten so quiet.

He watched as a pink haired girl and a blond girl made their way over to our side of the table. Much to my surprise they had linked arms and were eying me hungrily. My stomach started to become queasy from sickness as they both flashed me flirting smiles. I was never attracted to anyone but nothing disgusted me sexually more than women. They were all vicious creatures and when I lived in Suna, they all chased me because I had money and they all did so to my brother and still plagued him. Their voices got on my nerves and their makeup and smell were unnatural. I didn't really find anyone pleasing to the eye. Well, except for Naruto.

Wait. I didn't say that.

Okay, moving on.

The girls made their way over to me and I cringed as the blonde latched herself to my free arm while the pinkette glared at Naruto as if saying 'how dare you sit next to him'. "Move over, monster. The new guy doesn't want to see your ugly mug." She sneered as she forced herself between us. I growled at the two, but neither got the hint that I didn't want them near me as my body tensed. The girls flipped their hair simultaneously and let out giggles as their holds on me became tighter. "I'm Sakura." The pink haired girl said in a nasally tone that was supposed to sound sultry. "And I'm Ino." The blonde continued her fits of giggles in some vain attempt to get me to swoon at the sound of her siren call. I was about to lash out on them but instead I maintained my composure and took in a deep breath before speaking.

"Ladies, are you really deluding yourselves into thinking I want you?" I ground out, happy that their giggling stopped. I continued before either of them could speak. "Did you really think you two could behave so ill- mannered toward another human being and expect me to swoon? I have news for you; that blond idiot there might not be my friend but from now on, the only person who is allowed to glare at him is me. The only person who is allowed to insult him is me." I looked in front of me to see the red headed kid nod approvingly at me, a very deadly aura radiating toward the two girls. I offered my own smirk and wretched my arms from their grips. "If you ever, _ever _insult Naruto like that again or insult _me _by assuming I would be attracted by your pitiful behavior, I'll let this guy kill you both and help him hide the bodies." I growled at them and sent a glare to them along with the red headed kid and they scampered off, squealing in fear. I was rewarded with a smile from the red headed kid, green eyes sparkling with approval.

"I like you already. I'm Gaara Subaku." He said, his tone was monotonous but I could tell I had the seal of approval. I felt Naruto's eyes on me and I looked to see his face looking at me full of confusion. I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes, hopefully showing my disinterest. "I'm the only one who is allowed to insult you from now on, dobe." I got a blinding smile from him as he snorted. "Sure thing, teme." The insult lacked conviction but I waved it off from him being too happy from the fact that two people stuck up for him and sent the other group of teens pissing in their pants from fear. I didn't know why exactly I stuck up for him but like I said, I really didn't need to hear his incessant whining, which he would do if he kept getting bullied like that. What fun would it be to make his life miserable if he already was miserable, right? Naruto grabbed his and my empty plate and threw it in the trash before coming back for me.

"Let's go, teme. I need to go see Dr. Tsunade and you're going to be Kakashi's nine A.M. patient." He said waving for me to follow him. I nodded to the group I had just met in farewell and followed the blond. I figured by now that he had just upgraded from idiot to blond after those two girls' performance. As we walked, I remembered Naruto said something earlier about having his own doctor and his condition was the reason why everyone seemed to hate him. My mouth was full of great ideas when I let the second question slip out, "Why do you have your own doctor?"

Naruto stopped short and turned to me. He hung his head and shuffled his feet a little in embarrassment. "I have a condition that calls for me to have a special therapist that handles my kind of case exclusively." He murmured while he kept his head down. I picked up on the fact that any mention of his condition or why people treated him like they did instantly threw him into a cool, depressed state. He looked up at me, his eyes full of sadness and he offered a smile to match his eyes. "I don't want you to hate me for something I can't control too so I won't say what it is 'cause I just want a friend…" He trailed off and shook his head before leading me to the therapist's office.

I felt awful instantly. I may be a cold bastard, I will never deny that but I saw the hurt and betrayed looks flash in his icy blue eyes that reminded me of myself and for a split second, I understood. I was often pushed around because of my name and the events I couldn't control. The feeling lasted all of a second and I crossed my arms and scoffed. Naruto merely shrugged sadly and went on his way to his therapist's office while I trudged to Kakashi's. I was less than excited to be bombarded with questions about my feelings and why I was here.

I was delighted to see the silver haired doctor submerged in a book and hoped that his nose would stay there and out of my business. My delight was short lived when his head popped up and my failed attempt to close the door quietly. His eyes twinkled in a smile that was hidden underneath his mask as he marked the page and set it down.

"Hello Sasuke." He crowed as I plopped myself down on the white leather couch. "I trust Naruto was a proper tour guide." I nodded and watched while Kakashi sat in a chair in front of me. "Good! Well let's get started shall we." He grabbed a notebook from beside him and flipped it open before propping it up on his lap. "So, Sasuke, do you know why you're here?" he began.

"Yes."

"Do you think you belong here?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not crazy."

Kakashi clucked his tongue at this while he scribbled a few notes before continuing.

"You tried to kill yourself."

"Yes. Lots of people do and don't need to be here."

"Would you like to tell me why you did it?"

"Nope."

"Would you like to talk about your brother?"

"I'd rather not talk at all."

"Would you like to talk about your mother?"

"Not really but she should be in a mental hospital and not me."

"Why?"

"She's crazy."

Kakashi was silent for a couple of moments while he jotted down some notes. I looked around at his office and noticed the various degrees and awards he received. One picture in particular caught my eye and I was shocked to see Naruto with Kakashi and my old teacher, Iruka Umino. "Hey, why is there a picture with you, Naruto, and Iruka in it?" I asked, mentally cursing my curiosity today. Kakashi looked up from his notes at looked at me a little shocked. "How do you know Iruka?" He asked with mild surprised.

"He was my psychology teacher this year."

"Ah."

"How do you know him?"

"He's my husband."

It was my turn to be shocked. I knew Iruka was married and had a son but I never expected it to be… Wait. If Kakashi is his husband, then that means…

"Naruto is your son?" I asked, gaping at the now smiling man. "Very smart observation, Sasuke. We were newly married and we adopted Naruto when he was a baby. He was a son of a friend of ours." He informed. So that was why he and Naruto exchanged such loving glances. I wondered what it was like to have someone care for you like that for your life. Itachi got dad his whole life and I got my mother's fake love for mine while Itachi studied to take over the family business and dad submerged himself in work. It always boiled down to this.

I was alone.

"Want to talk about that night?"

I froze. My body went numb and all thoughts ceased. How did he know? Did he live in Suna? Would he tell people who I was? I started trembling as gunshots rang through my ears and my skin itched from drying blood. Kakashi looked at me sympathetically and quietly apologized for asking such a difficult question. I let out a faint whisper, begging for the first time in my life.

"Please, don't tell them I'm an Uchiha."

I went back to mine and Naruto's room before promptly flopping myself on my bed. I stared at the ceiling for hours, skipping lunch in favor of peace and quiet.

I often welcomed loneliness, I suppose. I learned at a very young age that people wanted me for my money so I never let myself be associated with them. The only people I needed were my family and Deidara since he seemed to integrate himself into our lives. I had always hoped when I was growing up that I would have a love like my parent's and have such a carefree relationship like Itachi's and Deidara's. I figured they started dating around the time I turned twelve but they kept it a secret. It wasn't well kept, really. Anyone a mile away could see the loving way they looked at each other and the fleeting touches that they always seemed to welcome. When I thought back on it, my parents weren't really like that.

My mother always looked at my dad with a cold, accusatory glare while my dad looked at her with an immense amount of fear and betrayal. I never noticed it but their kisses and embraces were forced, their smiles were fake. It was a time in my life, before my dad's death, that I was ignorant to this. All I wanted was to have someone love me for being Sasuke, not being Fugaku Uchiha's son. It made me feel even more alone when I noticed it. Love became non-existent the moment the trigger was pulled and my life shot to hell as my father's dead body hit the ground. Friendship wasn't an option while you were an Uchiha, especially after Fugaku's murder.

I glanced at the clock to see that it was already two and I noticed that Naruto had not once come back to our room. I didn't think much of it; I just hoped that I wouldn't have to hide two bodies with Gaara.

I made my way to the entertainment room for group therapy, watching as everyone made a circle around a very busty woman with blond hair and brown eyes. A few of the boys stared at her chest but I searched for a familiar mop of blond hair. I caught sight of Naruto who was waving me over to sit next to him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed he secured me a seat between him and Gaara thus effectively thwarting any plans for miss pink and miss blond to sit next to me. Naruto smiled happily up at me and Gaara simply offered a small smirk. "I forgot to tell you," Naruto leaned toward me with his voice lowered, "Since Tsunade only has me as a patient, she does our group therapy. She's tough but she's really nice." I nodded while the blonde doctor settled everyone down.

"Okay everyone. I see we have a new patient joining us, want to introduce yourself?" She looked to me with a pearly smile and stern eyes. I looked to Naruto begging him with my eyes to introduce me. He seemed to get the hint, much to my surprise and stood up. "The teme doesn't like to talk so I'll introduce him. This is Sasuke. He likes to glare and not like people. I don't think he likes food either, probably a health nut. Oh, and he's my roommate." Naruto said cheerfully and I nodded to Tsunade my approval.

The woman gave Naruto an affectionate smile, "Why don't you tell everyone why you're so happy?" she offered. This made Naruto blush and look to the ground while rubbing his neck nervously. "I'm really happy that Sasuke is my roommate." He crowed happily with his face to the ground. I gave him my full attention, shocked at what he said.

"He's a right bastard and most likely a cynic and a pessimist," How did he guess? "But I saw something in him today. I know not a lot of people like me but he shot everyone down without even knowing who I was or why people seem to hate me. I know he might not like me but I saw, in his eyes beyond the anger and the bitterness and the loneliness, compassion. He's cold and ruthless but in the short time I've known him, I felt a sliver of hope."

Hope? From me? What was he on about? I was an asshole to him and here he was making a little speech about me with damn spot on observations of me. Except the compassion thing. I admit nothing.

"Sasuke gave me back one sliver of hope humanity."

That struck me to the core. Humanity. I barely knew the definition myself and this kid was preaching about me having it. I had to give him props, I might just call him dobe instead of blond or idiot.

I didn't want to break it to him, not then, not ever.

Humanity doesn't exist in my world.

If it did, then maybe I wouldn't be so alone.

**A/N: Okay, yeah I know Sasuke is being a confusing dick and isolating himself but he's supposed to be like that. I'll update as soon as I can and reviews are nice ^.^**


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